H2G2 -- The Hitchhiker's Guide to the
Galaxy, Earth Edition -- is a different sort of search engine, patterned after the
Guide in Douglas Adam's sci-fi parody classic, The Hitchhiker's Guide to the
Galaxy. Anyone who wants to can sign up to be a Guide "researcher", and submit
entries to the engine, which is more like an internet-based encyclopedia than anything
else. Neat, huh? Now, H2G2 will only approve entries which are written
seriously, but will accept anything you care to submit. As entries in the original Guide
were about 10% truth and 90% fiction, I couldn't quite get behind the idea of writing
completely factual articles on Kenshin... but I think I managed the 10-to-90 truth-to-fiction
ratio just fine!
Rurouni Kenshin
Historical chronicling of the adventures of one Himura
Kenshin (aka Himura Battousai, aka Hitokiri Battousai), his sidekick Sagara
Sanosuke (aka Zanza, aka Sano), protege Myoujin Yahiko, and landlady/girlfriend
Kamiya Kaoru. This small group of misfits (affectionately dubbed the
"Kenshin-gumi" in honor of their founder) made a name for themselves during
Meiji Era Japan by defending the public through reckless endangerment. Their
passion for protecting others was eclipsed only by their lack of self-preservation,
and it was only through the efforts of their private physician, Takani Megumi, that
they survived to fight again (and again, and again). Unable to cope with the
stress of her job, Takani left to pursue a more public practice after Himura
reportedly suffered a near-death experience. Her departure heralded the disbanding
of the group as a whole, as the more sensible members refused to continue
without health insurance.
Their chronicles are available in both paper and theatrical format, but authorities
argue vehemently as to which is more accurate. Many even assert that the entire
story is fictional.
Himura Kenshin
A small, red-haired man whose deceptively harmless form
contains the power to topple governments and fell madmen. Some
authorities believe he may actually be an early attempt at battle mecha, rather
than a living, breathing being. His usefulness (or destructiveness,
depending on one's point of view) is curtailed by the fact that he is easily
controlled by his spunky and somewhat demanding landlady. Also has a
weakness for children, and a tendency toward making overly dramatic speeches.
Attracts adoring women like picnics attract ants, a phenomenon which baffles most
male researchers, while their afflicted feminine counterparts can only rhapsodize
about flame-bright hair and Himura's darker personality. (See also Rurouni
Kenshin, Hitokiri Battousai, and Gein.)
Hitokiri Battousai
Himura Kenshin's darker personality, the Hitokiri Battousai breaks free whenever the rurouni
is under a great deal of stress -- kind of like a Meiji Era Incredible Hulk (he even does the yellow
eyes, but draws the line at the icky green skin). He is stronger, meaner, sexier, and far less polite
than Himura's normal self: quite definitely not a force to be dealt with lightly.
In most circumstances, the only way to awaken the Battousai is to threaten the life of someone
Himura has decided to protect; however, when it comes to his landlady, even looking at her wrong
is grounds for beheading. This process is referred to as "going Battousai", and while Kamiya
Kaoru is firmly against killing, protective anger suits her just fine. In fact, it seems likely that the
only way she'll ever get some action is to spend quality time with the hitokiri.
Gein
Brilliant inventor who lived during the Meiji Era, best known for his prototype of
the original battle mech. Also the first to build a "marionette" style android, a remarkable
accomplishment even if her programming was distressingly simple. Killed in an unfortunate
accident while trying to save his masterpiece from a dreadful fire.
Tomoe
A beautiful, soulless ice demon who preys on naive young men. Believed to
have drastically altered the course of Himura Kenshin's life by first breaking his heart, and then
arranging her own death.
Sekihara Tae
tae@sekihara.dreamhost.com
June 30, 2000
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